I Can't Shake...Home #1

This week, the Make Your Home a Haven challenge started over on the Women Living Well blog.  I love this challenge, it comes at a perfect time every year. I always intend to jump in and participate. I always say "this year I will be Home #2" but I always fall short and don't follow through.

I have to follow through.  As I read the words on the page describing Home #1 they kept jumping at me and I'd say "yes that is me."  I admit it and you know what else I admit? I hate it. I hate feeling the way I do.  I hate being discontent and angry all the time.  I hate yelling and rushing around. I hate feeling like all we do is look for shoes and sippy cups.  My husband and I have not touched each other in almost two weeks.  We just don't even communicate.

He sleeps on the couch.

I'm ashamed. I know that he loves me and he knows that I love him but we have just gotten lost in the chaos.  We don't go to church, we don't pray, we don't do anything as a family.  He's always working and I'm always yelling.

I hate it.

I want to be the woman in Home #2. I want my kids to grow up in a home that isn't dysfunctional and a crazy mess ALL OF THE TIME.  I never clean, I hate cleaning.  I look around and think "why do we have so much stuff?"  My kids don't play with any of their toys, don't read any of their books. Most of them are broken or torn. So why? Why do we hold onto it all?  Oh yeah, because mom is too lazy and too tired to get up and clean it all out.

Boy what a winner I am huh?

The worst part is I know this is the WRONG attitude to have. I know this way of thinking and living is wrong. I can see what it's doing to my kids and to my family. But why do I let it continue? Why do I keep on admitting that I'm wrong but doing nothing to change it?

I don't know honestly, but that can't change the fact that something has to change around here. We can't keep on like this. Or my family is going to suffer.

So tomorrow, I will light my candle and I will say my prayers and I will try my hardest to shake off this lazy discontentment and make my house, not just a home...but a haven.

Wish me luck!

Jaymie

Posting Again?

Well, it's been about a year since my last post here.  Yeah my kids keep me busy but that's not why I don't post, I'm just so self conscious about putting myself out there in the internet world.

But why not? Why should I be self conscious or scared as to what other people think?

So here I am again...let's make it last this time!

We are going through a new phase of our lives...for 1, my youngest will be 2 in November and nope I'm not pregnant.  It's weird...usually by this time in my other children's lives, I was expecting again. But that's ok, we are happy with our 4 wonderful babies and if we ever find ourselves blessed with a 5th well we will be happy about that too!

Another school year has come and gone, the boys final year in public school.  It's just not what it should be and well that's another post.  So this summer, after a short break, we will be starting up our homeschool routine again.  I'm excited and happy and scared.  My biggest short coming is I lack discipline and motivation.  Yes I can admit that, I really have to "suck it up" and put on my grown up pants and make it work.  We know this is what is best for our family and our children, it's just me..getting my act together.

We are also in another phase of life...paying off debt.  My husband is making, probably the lowest wage he's ever made in his working career, but we are patient and we know this is the best option for our family in today's world.  We can't focus on the lesser pay, we have to focus on what we can do with it instead.  We are blessed to live in the situation we do, even when it doesn't seem like it.  Unfortunately we don't know how long until we will have to move, so we are trying to focus on paying off our debt and living on a tight budget so that we can buy a house of our own.

So what does that mean for this blog? Well that means I'll be journaling about our experience with raising 4 kids, homeschooling, and budgeting/living below our measly means. I may start vlogging again on YouTube...not sure, if I do I will post the videos here as well. Hopefully sharing our journey will make us more accountable!

Until next time, thanks for stopping by!

Have a blessed day!

*Jaymie*

School Is OUT!!!!

Yay it's finally summer time!!!! 

 Hayden's last day of school was on June 6th and we were so ready to start our summer vacation!  I love having all of my kiddos home with me...even on the days I'm praying bed time comes soon! So far we have spent the first week battling a virus and finally we got some relief and headed over to the campground for some swimming and pontoon fun! Baseball season is over and the rest of the summer we will spend relaxing, swimming, joining the YMCA, playing with friends, and getting ready for school in the fall! 

Here are a few pictures from the last few days! 

Devyn is in t-ball still but he loves to practice his pitching!!

                               

                               Mommy and the girls sitting in the cool van while Hayden played ball                                                

Faith on her way to the doctor...her first time ever being sick in 2.5 years!!!

Relaxing with sister on the couch!

Gracie ready for the river!!! 

Devyn and Faith playing on the "beach"

Hayden and Devyn swimming and having so much fun! They love to swim and I love it too because it really tuckers them out! 

Gracie passed out on the pontoon. On this day she hadn't napped all morning and finally we get out on the boat with the breeze and she fell fast asleep. So precious! 

That's all for now! Hope everyone is enjoying their summer so far!!! Today it's going to be icky hot so we will be hanging out inside working our study packets!!!!

Have a blessed day! Thanks for stopping by!

Jaymie

What Am I Using to Diaper My Baby?

Day 2 of the Flats Challenge 2014, has us answering the question, "What is your stash?"

Normally I use prefolds and covers or pockets with microfiber inserts, but for this challenge I couldn't use any of those!  SO I neatly tucked them away in a drawer for later.  I luckily had purchased 12 birdseye flats from Green Mountain Diapers when I bought my prefolds so I had them already around the house and I had plenty of covers. The only thing I bought was a 5 pack of flour sack towels from WalMart.

One thing you won't see are wipes, I am not using cloth wipes as of right now.  I am on my last pack of Pamper's wipes that I had bought in bulk a few months ago.  After this pack is gone...I'm going all cloth.

So my flats challenge stash includes:

12 birdseye cotton flats purchased here  $24.00
6 cotton flannel receiving blankets that I've had for a few kids now similar to these (awesome for night time or when out of the house) $10 (these were mainly gifted or ones I got from the hospital so I really didn't pay for any of them)
5 flour sack towels like these  $4.88

5 Flip Covers like these  $74.75 (got some of these on sale and some second hand)
6 Thirsties Size 1 Duo Wraps found here $76.50 (some of these I got second hand and a few I got on sale)

I also use these Gerber Waterproof Pants for my 2 year old during the day $6.24

I also have 3 snappis $7.55

This is all I use to full time diaper 2 little girls. My 2 year old and my 6 month old. This would be all you needed from about 8lbs until potty training (my 2 year old has started potty training)

TOTAL $203.92

As far as cleaning supplies go, the only thing I bought was a cord from the hardware store to hang for a clothes line and a bar of Zote soap.  Everything else is what I have around the house.  I found a large 11-gallon green flexible tub that I had gotten for my boys to throw their toys in, that was always empty, so I borrowed it for the week. I use an Easter bucket that one of the kids kept from their Easter present as a dirty pail, it sits on my dryer by my back door.  I use vinegar in an old dish soap bottle to use during the rinse and I use my hands to agitate and wash and wring them out.

This is pretty much my set up right here...you can see my big green wash tub, my little thing with a bar of soap, my little diry pail, a hose and my clothes line...and my really excited 7 year old.  He thought I was going to wash all of our laundry like this...yeah sure kid hahahaha. On the line you can see a pocket diaper with 2 microfiber inserts hanging, this was from the first day and the night before I put my Faith in this set up for overnight...never again will I wash microfiber by hand.

I will go into my wash routine in another post.  If I could make a guess as to what the wash supplies cost I'd say maybe $8.

Very basic but it WORKS and honestly, truly, I am LOVING this set up and system.  It really is possible to diaper your baby for so much less, many people are cutting up cotton t-shirts, using pins, making their own fleece or wool covers.  It's pretty awesome!!

Thanks for stopping by!!!

Jaymie

Why Am I Taking the Flats Challenge?

Today marked the beginning of the Flats & Handwashing Challenge over on Dirty Diaper Laundry, it was also Mother's Day, but mostly I was excited about the Challenge.

I've heard about and watched YouTube videos for the last 3 years and always wanted to do it but always hesitated.  Figured I didn't have time or that people would think I'm crazy, blah blah blah.  This year I took the plunge.  So what? I'm crazy lol.  I've already established that I am not like most ladies my age, I like to do things differently. lol

Since I already had 12 flats and some receiving blankets and covers (I mainly use prefolds and covers) this really wasn't going to be that different, right? Why not jump in feet first?  Gracie is my last baby so this is the last time I'll be able to say that I got to participate in a challenge that really, just sounds fun.  Anyone that knows me, knows that I have an appreciation for "old fashion" housewife ways.  I like to learn and do as much as I can in the way a generation before me would do it. Sometimes I truly believe I was born in the wrong era. I love to learn about the Depression Era and how families survived in those days. I love a more sweet simple country life.  I frequently wish I could just shut down all technology (except plumbing) and do things the way it used to be done.  I love hearing my husband's grandmother talk about raising her babies back in a much simpler way of life.

Sure modern convenienves have their place and make life much easier, but at times I think maybe life has been made to easy. Often we find we like to slow down, usually we go camping when we need a break. This flats challenge is going to give me the opportunity to know that if I need to wash diapers with no machine, I can do it and will have the know how.  It also has opened my eyes to how simple it is to use just a piece of cotton and a waterproof cover to diaper a baby.  I WISH I had known this 7 years ago when we had our first child. Would have saved us a lot of money.

I'm really excited about the challenge this brings.  So far I've done a load by hand and truly it wasn't that hard. Sure it was work but it wasn't hard or difficult. Someone asked me why I want to make things harder on myself, I think I'm making it easier honestly. I feel more connected with my roots...already.

I will be keeping track of my journey here on my blog...follow along!

Thanks for stopping by!
Jaymie

Changes...

So many changes have taken place since my last post.

First of all, we are sadly no longer homeschooling Hayden.  I had so much going on with my health and Doctor appointments and my other children that I felt like his education was being left behind.  I was so sick most days it was hard to do any school work at all and twice a week doctor appointments an hour away from our home. It was all so overwhelming.  He was suffering, I saw him grow sadder and sadder. He missed his friends, was constantly worried about me and feeling like he needed to protect and care for me.  It made my heart so heavy...that was NOT what I wanted for my 7 year old boy.  Not the kind of child hood I wanted for him.  So we made the decision to put him back in school.  It wasn't an easy decision and it's not one that I am still necessarily fond of but it had to be done.

Second, baby Grace was born :-)  She came about 4 weeks early and had to spend the first 48 hours of her little life in the NICU because of a collapsed lung, but she is all better and growing so fast every day.  She is so beautiful with her dark hair and deep blue eyes.  Same eyes her sister had at her age. She came very unexpectedly.  Randy had been laid off for over a month, we were unprepared and so very scared.  But when it's time it's time and my water broke and I actually got to experience unexpected labor before they took me for a c-section.  For my last child, God truly did bless me with everything I had hoped and prayed for.  She's in that clingy growth spurt stage right now and to say it's been tough is an understatement.  I love her very much but man, momma needs some sleep lol.

Lastly, Randy has a new job! After months of being laid off, he was offered a position working for our state. He took a hefty pay cut but that's not important. He is working and we will make it, with God's grace, we know He will find a way for us.

That is all for now, little Gracie is crying needing her mother's arms.

Thank you and God Bless!

Happy New Year!!

Jaymie

Pregnancy Update *23 weeks* Baby #4

I hit week 23 of my fourth pregnancy last Sunday.  I wanted to start journaling about it to share.

We found out I was pregnant (after getting my tubes tied) around 4 weeks. After weeks of rollercoaster emotions, multiple ultrasounds, blood work; we finally found out that baby was indeed there and in the correct spot (not ectopic).  Boy were we ever relieved!!! It has been such a blessing knowing this little baby is growing inside of me, after I thought my chances at another baby were all over.

I won’t get into why I had my tubes tied to begin with, right now.

I am finally feeling baby move regularly. We still haven’t found out if it’s a baby boy or baby girl but I’m leaning towards it being a girl. That’s just my hunch.

At around 20 weeks I was “self” diagnosed with diabetes, this was after becoming very sick and going to doctor and checking my blood sugar 4x’s a day in between visits. They decided to put me on Glyburide and between the medicine and changing my diet, I am finally feeling good.

I will be going to the doctor soon and having a level 2 ultrasound and will post some pictures of baby, hopefully we will find out the gender soon!

For now here is a picture of my 23 week *bump*  It makes me smile

Thank you for stopping by!

Jaymie